The Time I Farted at a Critical Moment

That was the most embarrassing moment of my entire life.

It happened in 2002. I was the project manager for a software project, and we were at the client's site for the final project acceptance meeting. This meeting was crucial; it directly determined whether we could receive the final payment.

The client was a tough female vice president. She had a stern face and was known for being difficult to deal with. Sitting next to me was a new female colleague from our company, Xiao Liu. She was beautiful and gentle, and I had been secretly in love with her for a while.

Before the meeting, I had a stomach ache because I ate some unhygienic grilled squid at a street stall the night before. I took some medicine, but it didn't seem to help much.

The meeting started in the morning. The environment was very solemn. Everyone was serious. The client's VP asked me some very sharp questions about the project's progress. I answered while sweating profusely.

My stomach started to churn. I felt a surge of gas rushing downwards. I clenched my teeth and tightened my muscles, trying my best to hold it in. I told myself: "Li Yi, you must hold it! You absolutely cannot fart here!"

The meeting room was extremely quiet. Only the sound of the air conditioner and the VP clicking her pen could be heard.

Just as the VP asked a difficult question and the room fell into a dead silence, I felt a sudden slip in my control.

"Pu—uuu—t!"

A crisp, loud, and high-pitched sound broke the silence.

It was like a thunderclap on a sunny day. The sound echoed in the quiet meeting room.

For a second, time seemed to stop.

The client's VP froze. Her hand holding the pen stopped in mid-air. She looked up, her eyes scanning the room.

Xiao Liu, who was sitting next to me, turned her head to look at me in disbelief. Her face instantly turned red.

I wanted to die. I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole. My face was burning hot.

But the nightmare wasn't over. Soon after the sound, a pungent smell began to spread. It was the smell of the grilled squid and garlic I ate last night. The smell was rich, layered, and overwhelming.

The people sitting opposite me started to frown. Someone covered their nose. The VP's face darkened. She waved her hand in front of her nose and said coldly: "Let's take a break. Open the windows."

The meeting was interrupted. Everyone got up to open the windows. The fresh air rushed in, but the smell lingered.

I sat there, motionless, not daring to move. I felt like a criminal waiting to be sentenced.

After that, the meeting continued, but the atmosphere was completely different. The VP seemed impatient and quickly ended the meeting without signing the acceptance document.

Xiao Liu ignored me on the way back. She never spoke to me again after that.

This incident taught me a profound lesson: Never eat grilled squid before an important meeting!