being too soft

Being overly soft often stems from a desire to keep peace, but it can lead to self-neglect. Here’s a “how-to” for those who struggle with setting boundaries:

First, master the art of over-apologizing. Say “sorry” for things beyond your control—the weather, others’ moods, or even existing. Next, prioritize others’ needs relentlessly. Drop your plans to listen to a friend’s vent session, skip lunch to help a colleague, or loan money you can’t spare. Remember, “no” is a forbidden word; replace it with “I guess so” or “maybe later.”

When faced with conflict, deflect responsibility. Blame yourself for others’ mistakes (“I should have reminded you”) and avoid confrontation at all costs, even if it means bottling up resentment. People-please constantly: agree with opinions you dislike, pretend to be okay with disrespect, and go out of your way to avoid disappointing anyone.

Lastly, ignore red flags. Excuse bad behavior—“They’re having a tough time”—and give endless second chances, even when kindness is exploited. After all, keeping everyone happy matters more than your own peace, right?

Ironically, this “softness” often leaves you drained, but for the people-pleaser, it’s a familiar recipe.